I don’t claim to like peanut butter.  Honestly, it’s just ok.  I would never, out of my own free will, choose a PB&J sandwich over any other kind of sandwich.  When people tell me of their love for peanut butter and jelly sandwiches, and I in return, tell them my fondness of avocadoes sprinkles with sugar, we both exchange, “Ewww, you’re a freak!” looks.  Still many people in my life like the gooey mess, so I thought I’d pass this blog entry along.

I love peanut butter. But more importantly for the statement you are about to read here, I know peanut butter. I know peanut butter the way Da Vinci knew fluid mechanics, the way Einstein knew physics, the way Grand Master Flash knows a turntable, the way Tom Brady knows how to perfectly balance throwing touchdowns and humping supermodels. I have eaten it. I have coddled it. I inhaled. What can I say? That’s how I spread.

I can eat an entire container of peanut butter without consuming even a single drop of liquid.

I am here, with the utmost humility (and frankly, after a proofread or two, more than a little shame), but also with the utmost certitude, to tell you this:

Parkers Family Farms Peanut Butter is the best peanut butter in the world.

Did I mention that the crunchy version of the peanut butter has whole peanuts in it? And you know how honey roasted peanut butter is only for complete pussies? Well Parkers honey roasted peanut butter is damn good.

You want to talk about breakthroughs? Sliced bread wasn’t shit until now.

Here is the Parkers Farm website.  Now I’d really like to try some of this!